How Marshall Rosenberg’s Approach Can Transform Work, Friendships, and Love
Loft member Johanna Schuck tells us about her expertise and how the loft helps her grow. 👇
At first glance, Nonviolent Communication (NVC) seems like just another communication technique—a structured way to phrase things more consciously. But in reality, it is so much more.
For me, NVC is not just a technique; it is an inner practice—a way of being, a way of connecting with myself and others. It allows me to understand my emotions, uncover my needs, and express them clearly. In short, NVC is a path to more clarity, connection, and even freedom.
As a trainer in Nonviolent Communication, I want to share how this method has transformed my own life and how it can make a difference for anyone, in any field: in professional settings, friendships, or romantic relationships.
Finding My Own Voice – How I Discovered NVC
I found Nonviolent Communication because, quite simply, I didn’t know how to communicate.
I grew up in a conflict-avoidant environment. In my family, we never fought, which created a sense of harmony, but it also meant that I never learned how to deal with conflict constructively. When I entered my first serious relationships as a young adult, I found myself completely lost.
I lacked words to describe what I was feeling. I had no vocabulary to express my needs. And most importantly, I had no idea how to communicate what I needed in a way that led to mutual understanding. As a consequence, I stayed silent a lot until the relationship didn’t work out for us anymore. I’m not saying that NVC could have saved my relationship, but it could have made navigating it a lot easier for sure.
When I discovered Nonviolent Communication, it was a revelation. Suddenly, I had a tool to organize my inner world. I could clearly identify my feelings, recognize the underlying needs, and THEN formulate a request to myself or others with that clarity in mind.
I often say:
“NVC is an inside job. 80% of it happens internally before we even say a word.”
Why NVC is Not Just a Communication Technique
Many people approach Nonviolent Communication as if it were a step-by-step process—a technique to follow. But if it is treated that way, it doesn’t work.
If I just apply the four steps of NVC mechanically (Observation, Feeling, Need, Request) without embodying the underlying intention, people sense it. Sometimes they even feel manipulated, as if I’m using a polished trick to get what I want.
So, what makes NVC different from other communication methods?
For me, NVC is a spiritual practice disguised as a communication tool. The core is not about how I phrase something. It’s about my intention before I even speak:
✅ Do I truly want to understand the other person?
✅ Do I genuinely seek connection?
✅ Am I willing to be honest with myself before I engage with others?
When these elements are in place, Nonviolent Communication is incredibly powerful. But if I approach it just as a method to convince someone, it mostly fails.
How NVC Helps in Work, Friendships, and Love
At Work: Clarity & Leadership
In work environments, Nonviolent Communication helps in many ways—especially for people who lead.
Why? Because the most valuable asset of any leader is clarity.
💡 When you know exactly what you want, you can communicate it clearly.
💡 When your team understands your requests, they can deliver efficiently.
💡 When people feel seen and appreciated, conflicts decrease, and collaboration improves.
I have coached executives who struggled with making clear requests.
One CEO, for example, gave vague instructions like:
"Would you like to handle this task?"
Of course, no one volunteered for an unpleasant task. But the real question was: Was this an invitation people can say no to or a request that you’re not supposed to say no to?
Using NVC, we clarified how to communicate in a way that ensures both honesty and efficiency—resulting in more clarity and less frustration. Now, he gives clear orders to his employees, when it’s a task they have to handle. Both sides benefit from that clarity. And if it’s a question, an invitation to brainstorm where input from the employees is wanted, he frames it accordingly.
In Relationships: Clarity vs. Over-Empathy
In friendships and romantic relationships, NVC can be a blessing—or a curse.
On the one hand, NVC helps create deep connections by fostering clarity:
✅ I can express what I feel.
✅ I can recognize what I need.
✅ I can make requests that help build a healthier relationship.
But there’s also a trap: Some people, especially those who naturally empathize too much, may overuse NVC to justify harmful behavior.
For example, I once stayed in a relationship longer than I should have because I kept empathizing with my partner’s struggles—instead of recognizing that their repeated boundary violations were a sign to walk away.
Understanding others does not mean tolerating everything. Empathy is valuable, AND so are boundaries. I’m currently learning how to ingrate both into my life.
Common Myths About NVC
1️⃣ "NVC is only about avoiding physical violence."
Actually, NVC is about a broader inner nonviolence—how we relate to ourselves and others.
2️⃣ "NVC is just a method to get what you want."
No! If used manipulatively, it backfires. Real NVC is about connection and letting go of our initial wants - not control.
3️⃣ "NVC doesn’t work in high-conflict situations."
NVC works best when you are centered. If I am overwhelmed by emotions, I first need to regulate myself before I can use NVC effectively.
How cocreation.loft supports my NVC work
Being part of cocreation.loft has been an absolute gift.
Here’s why:
✅ A Space for Reflection: Many loft members are interested in communication, so I can test new ideas, exchange thoughts, and refine my workshops.
✅ Collaborative Learning: Before my talk at Creative Mornings in Berlin in late 2024, I ran a practice session at the loft and received valuable feedback that made my final presentation stronger.
✅ A Self-Organized Community: The loft itself is built on principles of shared responsibility and mutual understanding—exactly what NVC teaches on an individual level.
Just like NVC encourages self-awareness and conscious choice, the loft’s self-organized structure encourages members to take active responsibility for their workspace and interactions.
A Practical Exercise: The Touch-Base Practice
Now, do you want to experience NVC in a simple, yet powerful way? Try this exercise:
1. Find a partner.
Sit down with a friend, colleague, or partner.
2. Set a timer for 3 minutes.
One person speaks about their current thoughts, emotions, or challenges—without interruptions. The listener stays fully present, without giving advice or responding.
3. Reflect what you heard for 2 minutes.
After the 3 minutes, the listener summarizes: "What I heard you say was…"
(No need for perfect wording—just what resonated most.)
4. Switch roles.
The other person speaks while the listener practices deep listening.
💡 This simple practice builds awareness, empathy, and connection.
Looking Ahead – Bringing NVC to More People
My vision is to make Nonviolent Communication accessible to everyone.
🌍 I am working on workshops at festivals, companies, and retreats. I love working in unconventional settings and inspire people to reflect on their daily communication.
📚 I plan to develop a comprehensive training that could become an onboarding module for companies—helping teams build stronger communication from day one.
🎤 You’ll find me speaking at the next CoCreation Festival, sharing insights on the power of stories we tell ourselves.
Join the Conversation
If you're curious about Nonviolent Communication, you can find me here:
📌 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/johannaluciaschuck/
📌 Website & Blog: www.johannaschuck.de
Let’s make communication more conscious, connected, and empowering.
